idiot’s “exclusive” interview (heh heh!)
December 18, 2003
Creative Writers Interview Questions
1. If you could be an animal for a day, which one and why?
-an Owl. I’m a night stalker
2. What is the one thing someone says in a critique or comment in a reply that bugs you?
-thanks for sharing
3. Do you have a certain time when you feel most creative? least?
-I said I’m an owl
4. What motivates you?
-the human breath, a whisper.
5. The one thing readers miss in my writing is :
-my writing.
6. How does your spouse/significant other feel about you writing? A hobby, distraction or passion for you? Other? Does he/she think you’ll ever “make it� as a writer?
-I already earn my living through art, not by writing though. They think it’s only a hobby, an eccentricity…maybe they’re right.
7. Do you usually feel satisfied with a finished piece?
-Haven’t thought about it. I usually look for the next whisper that comes along.
8. What are the most difficult things to describe?
-when i succeed describing my self, then I’ll tackle other obstacles
9. Words I hate, or won’t use.
-commercial brands and abbreviations like “LOL”
10. Words I use too much.
-Commas should be abolished.
11. If I were independently wealthy and could purchase any car I wanted, what would it be and why? Or, do you abstain driving because of environmental reasons?
-I’ve had a few good cars. Now I prefer cycling.
12. I think I’ll a) live forever; b) die at a ripe old age; c) my days on earth are few d) other?
-Another human illusion. You know, humans only live a few days, people don’t realise that.
13. (from JustAWriter): I want to know what motivates people, and in particular what motivates them to use a community such as this.
-Vanity, pretention, loneliness, applause and serious lack of communication.
14. I will be most likely to write when I’m a) happy; b) angry; c) depressed; d) all of the above e) none of the above.
-when i hear a whisper.
15. My favorite poetry subject to read or write is :
-the infinite descend into our inner world.
16. My favorite prose subject to read or write is:
-Same.
17. Will you write a bestseller?
-Repetez la question, s’il vous plait…
18. The Creative Writers reader who replies to my work and often understands it is :
-a healthy psychopath
19. I’m surprised when someone reads my works and says :
-oh! now I get it ( sure )
20. I’m embarrassed when someone finds out that I :
-am not an idiot
21. I love(d) my mom and dad.
-”How to love your parents, for idiots”…Buy it Now!!
22. (from Elemental Warrior):Do people (friends, family, acquaintances, etc.) admire you for being a writer?…
-Au contraire, I admire them, they sleep in a sea of tranquilty.
23. (from Elemental Warrior):Are you a better writer than you were a year ago?
-I hear more whispers now.
24. Book (s) or internet writing I’ve read recently that have had the most impact on my writing style :
-a toast lobster recipe
25. Anyone who wants to write should read :
-Homer, Marcel Proust and Thomas Mann.
26. Best time of day for me to write.
-I’m an owl.
27. Worst time of day for me to write.
-I’m an owl, you keep forgetting.
28. Favorite comment (s) people make about my writing.
-Yes, now…
29. (From JustAWriter): I’d like to know if, how and where people market work, particularly short stories/extracts that are not suitable for mainstream magazines.
-Repetez la question s’il vous plait
30. Worst comment (s) people make about my writing.
-Hi idiot, LOL!
31. I have writing goals. If yes, are they: a) in your head; b) written on a paper somewhere; c) neatly written in a journal; d) typed out on paper and posted in front of your work station so you see them every day; d) other (please explain).
-a piece of paper to note a few whispers.
32. Besides lack of time, the thing that keeps me from writing is :
-sex, either for pleasure or obligation.
33. If I could spend a few hours with another msn group writer, it would be :
-RainDropsAreFallingOnMyHead
34. I would be in a favor of a gathering/conference of Creative Writer’s members. If yes, where should it be held?
-Twin Towers, last floor.
35. I wish people knew this about me :
-heh heh!!
36. One writing mistake I use to make :
-still make it
37. Best writing advice:
-Only empty tin cans make noise, so fill’em up. If you’re in haste to write and feel stress and angst, there is only one answer I vividly recommend : The launch of an ecological, loud fart is a sound solution! but care to launch it on a regular basis.
38. I have cats, dogs, other?
-I travel too much, animals need caring. With them, I must be responsible. No cats and dogs, though I grew up with both.
39 The prose subject that bores me the most :
-Sci-fi ( except Jules Vernes )
40. Something I’d like to see written about more :
-an essay about how ignorant and idiots we all are, but honesty is a rare commodity.
41. (From Elemental Warrior):Besides money, what would you most like to get or be rewarded with, for your writing?
-The respect of my fellow artist, mainly for my painting. Later for my writing.
42. (From Elemental Warrior):Which do you like better, the action of writing the story, or the sense of completion once the story is done?
-The action of the creative process is more stimulating.
43. I think I’ve become the best writer I can be, now others need to discover me (y/n).
-who needs an idiot
44. The subject that will make me cry.
-no idea, maybe a farewell to…I ‘m not sure.
45. The subject I avoid reading.
-Sci-fi
46. If I see a woman with children stranded in a broken down car by the side of the road, I’ll most likely: a). stop and help her; b) call for help from my cell; c) feel badly for her, but drive on and do nothing; d) not give them a second thought; e) think, tough luck lady, glad it’s you and not me; f) none of these.
a) + b).
-i’m an idiot remember…
47. If I wanted to go to college and had the ways and means, I’d study :
-archaeology
48. If I couldn’t write, I’d like to be a professional a) singer; b) musician; c) rock star; d) dancer; e) politician; f) artist g) other.
-I am an artist who writes from time-to-time.
49. Favorite beverage while writing.
-a double espresso
50. Favorite snack while writing.
-the above + water
51. (From Barefoot/Julie): I’d like to know [your] favorite author, book, poet, poem, song, songwriter, movie and director.
-author: Marcel Proust. book: Odyssey. poet: Cavafy. poem: J. Keats “Lamia”. movie: Eisenstein’s “Potemkin” director: Orson Welles.
52: (From Elemental Warrior): What did you learn about writing recently?
-only about 3% is worth reading
53: (From DaveF): What is your favorite music?
-I have preferences that range from ancient to contemporary, no favorites. All should transmit this very known to me, a soothing whisper.
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I penetrate you
December 17, 2003
pen·e·trate pronunciation: “pe-n& -”trAt”, Function: verb. Inflected Form(s): -trat·ed; -trat·ing. Etymology: L penetrate, past participle of penetrate, from penitus deep within, far; akin to Latin penus provisions.
to pass into or through
to affect profoundly with feeling
to diffuse through or into
to affect deeply the senses or feelings
I therefore penus-mock you all – and your preferences.
Your ought-to-be penetrator penusproposes, and has a bunch of crime books for you:
for those who in enjoyment terms prefer an alpha
I remember noting Mr Henry Blabson Jr’s ” I Cum at Nites”: his latest offering is-and I say this with all the humility of a jaded critic – one of the funniest books I’ve read in a long time. Witty, refreshing, satirizing. Ah, ha, I can hear one of my putative critics exclaiming, but has he a plot, has he a crime, is it thrilling? Yes, to the first two questions. A question mark answer to the third : what do you mean by thrilling? For me, it was a splendidly enjoyable book, but to be honest – even if it hurts – this book, like so many others these decadent days ( or is it merely that I’m getting older? ), begins to fall apart towards the end : not much, but after all I’m paid by “Fenquin” to criticize.
( “Robocop was Here” by Henry Blabson Jr. Hickups-on-Thames, €25. )
for those who prefer a beta double plus
I have been less enthusiastic about some of Mr Bingoman’s books in the past. I should now like to redress the balance. This thriller indeed, is quite different from Mr Bingoman’s usual. A clever plot, well-constructed and not falling apart either at the seams or at the tail-piece, with several well-concealed tricks up its sleeve, and a handsome gallery of characters, ensure that this is a highly readable book. I do not always go for Mr Bingoman’s style but “Double Tristesse” impressed and intrigued me and I give it a strong recommendation. More please, Mr. B.
( “Double Tristesse” by Collin Bingoman. Hickory-on-Thames, €19,99 )
for readers prefering lethal sex
A collection of stories by women crime writers. If you can bear to read on after the awful, arch introduction –”Honestlly, girls, I’m not really terrified of you, en masse” As I say, you will find it a cosy collection of chilly little pieces…..Nothing really outstanding here, but all perfectly readable; suitable for a short, jerky train journey or a bedtime book when very weary.
( “Lethal Stomatic Sex” Jerky Crime Club Anthology, €62,50 )
for your mid-summer reading list
A detective. An amateur millionaire archaeologist. South of France. Rhapsodic passages on skin-diving. The crime and suspects get sorted out. Quite amusing, quite able, quite readable: but maybe the sub-aquatic world lacks the oxygen to set the plot afire. Good-average, and probably rather pleasant. Thanks for sharing Mr Asmouth.
(“Diving to a Lost Paradise” by Dieter Asmouth. Dotmond, €12,50 )
with it, in your favourite armchair
Another archaeologist, an American professional this time, specializing in the middle east, gets involved in the mayhem following a Levantine coup d’ ?t. Sad, asthmatic, unsuccessful academically. Marriage beyond repair, the hero somehow emerges sympathetically.Reserves of energy and courage. A by no means uninteresting book, worthy of a fireside hour in your favourite armchair.
(“The Perpendicular Orange” by Amie Dingwood. Eyre & Ffenguin, €17,99 )
I suspect readers under thirty don’t read this sort of
detective story anyway. It’s their loss. The new Gnnnaio Sharkk is cheerfully and excellently done, with some nice, loathsome characters and some nice, nice ones. Mr Mpyske Anemones, writer of letters of condolence to the bereaved, and prospective author of Etiquette, is an excellent, excellent Sharkkk character; so is the dog, the manservant, Max, and Desir? Lady Clanningham. The cast has a pleasantly D.G.F.Wooderwoodhouse flavour but the book is none the worse for that and, if the wit has a slightly arch, old-fashioned flavour, it makes it all cosier for readers over thirty.
(“Legs-in-Gloves” by Gnnnaio Sharkkk.Casselburger,€28,88)
Pause : Now, come to think of it. I care a lot about minorities. I don’t want to brag about it, but I donate, in regular basis, my paintings to Amnesty International. Yes, I do care.
I haven’t forgotten minorities. So, here goes.
to the stubborn, eccentric few, who could, but will not, employ a butler!
A good, fast-moving, Ambler-type thriller set in a South American state. Amusing and ingenious. Full of whodunits. Borgnen who figured in a previous whodunit, and his team in a highly skilful and complex brew of organized crime and mystery. A good plot. All thoroughly well exploited : a workmanlike book. You should guess whodunit – and there’s no butler.
( “Double Cross in Rio Madre” by Eugene O’ Hair. Millenium234, €65.00)Â

